The Coolest Grade at Walls: A Scientific Analysis

Determining the coolest grade level at Walls requires a close examination of each class’s defining traits and personalities.

Freshmen: These basement-lunch-eating, senior-commons-invading pupils are the newbies of Walls. Many conform to the fashion trends, sporting baggy jeans and modish hoodies. However, their seemingly cool appearances mustn’t obstruct the true nature of the freshmen class. Although they do not yet know their way around school nor campus, often intruding on spaces like the senior commons that are off-limits to them, the freshmen will eventually learn their way around and grow out of this awkward phase. Until then, however, they do not deserve the title of coolest grade. 

Sophomores: The 10th graders surprised many last year. As freshmen, they were able to quickly adapt to the routine of Walls and build strong relationships with upperclassmen. This was accomplished in a nonchalant manner that earned the Class of 2027 much respect. Regardless, these students are sophomores now. Their “nonchalance” approaches indifference and blasé; second-hand embarrassment is certainly felt by those who see through this nonchalant facade, ultimately stripping them of many coolness points. While they were once cool for being the youngest at school, they are now the middle-children of Walls. The 10th graders need to up their game if they want to claim the same esteem they held last year. 

Juniors: Constantly giving too much, or not giving enough. Some juniors are so unwilling to mingle beyond their close friend group that you may not know who they are. They’re not unified as a grade and they’re not the coolest individually either. Many are nervous about how the juniors will fill the footsteps of the soon departing seniors. If they don’t get cool soon, they won’t be able to uphold their seniority next year. 

Seniors: The obvious winner of the coolness competition. The embodiment of coolness. The epitome of cool. It is without a doubt that the seniors are the coolest grade. The Class of 2025 is athletic, artsy, scholarly, and uniquely composed. The 12th graders are effortlessly fashionable yet unconventional, outwardly reflecting their internal coolness. Utilizing a holistic rubric to score meticulous criteria developed by professional scholars, it has been determined that the seniors are the coolest grade at Walls by a huge margin. Additionally, the views expressed in this publication are unbiased and the author is impartial. Congratulations seniors, you are the coolest.