Delectable & Devious Deli enDeavors

Photo Credit: Leah Levy

When most Walls students visit the deli, they purchase one of just a few options. Maybe a bacon egg and cheese, Sun Chips, or Doritos. However, as Walls students looking to take the red pill and stand out from the crowd, we found it our journalistic duty to explore some of the most obscure items up for purchase at the deli. Putting our taste buds on the line, here are our takes on the most random snacks we could find at the deli.

Shrimp Crackers

Leah: As soon as the bag was opened, the vile smell of artificial shrimp clouded around us. The chips had an ideal crunchy texture, but the fishy taste was very unnatural. The crackers had dark red spots that, along with the overall taste, were definitely off putting.

Eve: As someone who doesn’t eat seafood, I wasn’t sure what to expect from this random snack. Although I can’t tell you whether or not it tasted like shrimp, I can say it did not taste as bad as it smelled. The flavor was relatively mild but still well-flavored.

Theo: If it weren’t for societal food norms, I feel shrimp crackers would be one of the more popular snacks out there. However, there is something jarring about a crunchy, chip-like snack having a seafood taste. Shrimp crackers are a great snack, but I’m not sure if American society is ready. 

Taco Corn Nuts

Leah: These well-seasoned corn nuts tasted exactly like white people taco night. They’re tiny, but packed with flavor. I liked them a lot more than I thought I would.

Eve: The seasoning of these was accurate to the taco labeling and added a nice flavor. However, the corn was a little dry for my preference and by the time I finished chewing the taco flavoring had long disappeared.

Theo: Corn nuts are my value pick. For $2.29, corn nuts offer a similar taste to the more widely-known Doritos and the bag is filled to the brim, making them a great way to fill the end of the lunch period. Corn nuts are disturbingly hard, though, so weak-toothed consumers should exercise caution.

Aloe Mango Drink

Leah: While the flavor of mango overpowered any taste of aloe, this drink was very refreshing for an 80 degree November afternoon. The aloe pulp created a chunky texture for this otherwise smooth drink, but if you don’t mind pulp then you will enjoy this!

Eve: Despite the large aloe label on the front, aloe did not have much presence in the drink except for the occasional chunk of aloe, which I can't say I was a fan of texture-wise. The mango flavor overpowered the drink which if you're a mango lover like myself made the drink quite enjoyable despite its misleading packaging. 

Theo: The reports of chunky pulp motivated me to abstain from consumption.

Chunky

Leah: Raisins and peanuts are two of my least favorite food groups ever. I appreciate that they did not completely overpower the chocolate, but I could not get over both raisins and peanuts being in this one chocolate bar. Unless you’re old or actually eat stuff other than the chocolate in your trail mix, I guess you might like Chunky bars. 

Eve: Although these chunky chocolates weren’t too bad they by no means would be my chocolate of choice when walking into the deli. I couldn’t taste much raisin or peanuts which allowed me to like it better, however the chocolate had a very heavy creamy texture that may be preferred by some but was not necessarily my favorite.

Theo: It is safe to say I will not be purchasing chunky chocolates. The texture is synonymous with the name: chunky. As if the mushy feel of the chocolate wasn’t bad enough, the raisins make the “treat” a true chore to eat. 

Oreo Popcorn

Leah: This was the perfect sweet and salty combination. Despite the lack of actual oreo flavor, I thought that these had a good ratio of popcorn to icing/frosting/oreo topping. I didn’t get any of the real oreo pieces that are advertised for this product, but this is a simple snack that you can’t really go wrong with.

Eve: Of all the snacks we tried this was higher up in the ranking, however, it didn’t live up to my expectations. The snack was very sweet and had a somewhat weird appearance. Although, it did offer a nice balance of salty and sweet with a little crunch.

Theo: This one was intriguing but underwhelming. The chocolate-popcorn combo does have potential, but neither the chocolate - which loosely resembles animal droppings - or popcorn’s taste was strong enough to make this a standout. The popcorn was also undeniably stale, but that may depend on the luck of which bag is purchased.

Sardines

Theo: Abandoned by my colleagues, I was forced to try the sardines alone. I was not thrilled to find that the tin was about 50% liquid and 50% sardines, but was surprised by the taste. It was quite similar to shrimp or shellfish. For seafood fanatics, the sardines are a great purchase, providing enough sustenance for a small lunch, all while costing just $2.69. At the very least, walking out of the deli with a tin of sardines in your hand will impress your peers and establish you as a veteran Walls student.